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home : opinion : letters May 24, 2016

2/25/2014 6:00:00 AM
Letter: Coming home to roost

A friend of mine, reading Lori Gabriel-Dane's Jan. 27 letter alleging police abuse to her granddaughter while driving a loaner car, said "I can't believe this! Surely she exaggerates!" Lori's credibility was down.

But I told her that I tend to believe it, for the following reason: "What goes around, comes around."

(Cause + effect = karma)

My purpose is to address Lori's poignant question at the end of her letter, where she asks, "Am I wrong for feeling this way (great anger toward the police)?" I may have the answer.

I'm fortunate to have had exposure to a unique viewpoint on this subject. My late wife had the following precept as her oft-repeated mantra: "There are no shoulds to feelings. Your feelings are whatever they are."

If this be true, it eliminates any need to apologize for your feelings, to experience or harbor guilt about them, or to have self-doubts because of your feelings. It would also follow to never impose "shoulds" upon the feelings of others. Such as telling children, "You shouldn't feel that way." I would never tell anyone this! (See the last paragraph.)

All that remains, then, is what we DO with our feelings - the actions we choose to take. These actions include the words we speak to our children - and the newspaper.

Applying my departed wife's guiding principle, we would have to conclude that it isn't "wrong" to have bad feelings toward others (even Republicans!). What's wrong is to DO the public slander, however carefully crafted. That's spreading the hatred.

Additional wrong behavior would be to plant the seeds of bitterness into future generations. Grandmother Lori's experience with the officer's so-called mistreatment would indicate that she may be reaping the fruit of her own harvest.

The seeds of hatred ripen into a special kind of vulnerability, a blind spot in the family's perspective. It seems evidenced here, by the policeman's supposedly hateful actions directed toward this very family. The chickens are coming home to roost.

Norman Swartz


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Reader Comments

Posted: Thursday, February 27, 2014
Article comment by: pl .....

@Well said.....so, if a citizen is outspoken at the Daily Miner against Obama's profligate war-mongering (average cost of one Taliban killed - $50,000,000, net result - we're getting out of there after protecting opium production as long as possible), or law enforcement crime anywhere (oh, G-d, don't tempt me here when it comes to their CRIMES, pal).....it's OK for a cop to mistreat that person out on the street?

Posted: Thursday, February 27, 2014
Article comment by: Anson's Nephew

“…what the hell is the matter with you??”

What is it with these “Christian” ladies and their constant cursing?

“I think the Miner needs to change policy and require anyone posting on here to have the guts to use their own name!!”

And we know the name you use is actually a real name because…? So funny how people get upset about use of pseudonyms here.

Posted: Thursday, February 27, 2014
Article comment by: Amaryllis Smith

Honestly, Lori and I don't agree politically but, for you to say this happened to a young mother and especially a baby, You think it was Karma, what the hell is the matter with you??
Had this incident only harmed Lori in some matter like losing her driver's, checkbook or something, you might call that karma but, not when it directly affected a baby!!!!
I am ashamed of you and well said (another not dare to use real name).
I think the Miner needs to change policy and require anyone posting on here to have the guts to use their own name!!

Posted: Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Article comment by: Well Said

Very well stated, Norman Swartz. Most of us who are regular readers of the Miner are aware of this grandmother and her opinions on most things. I do believe you are right that karma always comes back. Always. For good or for bad. I have been treated with nothing but the utmost respect by any of Kingmans finest throughout my 68 years here. I , also, show them nothing but respect, as well. It's a two way street!

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