Get A Grip: Mom remembers grandmother for Mother's Day

Last year, after I wrote a column about my great grandmother and Mother's Day, my mom and I talked about having her write a Mother's Day column for 2003.

It has been an eventful year.

My mom lost her mom in the last year, an event that has been hard on all the family but especially so for her.

But grief had to give way to joy when my brother and his wife welcomed their firstborn into this world last month.

Mom was returning from her first visit with her new grandson Wednesday when I remembered that it was time for her column.

After flying all day, she got my message that her copy was due.

I received the following e-mail early Thursday:

Oh my.

I had really not forgotten, but just had not had the whole idea at

the top of my head.

Many events have occurred since I had made the request last May after reading the column "Remembering Granny Great on Mother's

Day" in The Kingman Daily Miner.

Granny Great was my grandmother.

Interesting to me, the memories of my daughter about her great grandmother.

My own memories include playing trucks and cars in my grandmother's big gravel driveway behind her house in Warren, Ohio; hearing the clip clop of the horse pulling the wagon every morning as the milkman made his delivery and me singing a little ditty to accompany this event; next waiting for the produce man to stop his red truck along the street, to open the sides of the truck, to see the bounty of fruits and vegetables for the neighbors to choose; walking to the dairy to have a banana split and then not eating it, so "waste not, want not" my grandmother ate mine, too! Having a bath in the kitchen sink; learning how to make Welsh cheese and lemon meringue pies; riding the train alone when I was eight for my summer visits...Can you imagine allowing your eight year old daughter to have that adventure today?

To paraphrase the grandpa on the TV ad, 'Now I am the grandma'...Somehow from

that day in September 1968 when I looked upon the newborn and thanked God for the privilege and prayed to be a mom who would be able to guide and nurture this opportunity to this day as a grandma, I wonder at these children who were entrusted to their father and me.

We have always looked at parenthood as a stewardship.

Not as ownership...

As I thought of the words to say today, I reread some of Abbie1s previous columns.

In one from April, 2000, she wondered about what it is to be a mother.

Here I sit also thinking about what it is...

about guiding the child to learn the wonders of smelling the freshness of the rain, seeing the glories of the morning light, touching the softness, and hearing the stillness.

Thinking of hearing the joys of music, the thrill of the written word, dancing to many different beats, and silently or not so silently thanking God for the privilege to be able to do these things and knowing that we cannot protect forever from a world that can be cold and cruel.

And then I read the column from May 3, 2003.

How shocked I am that a fine, caring person who has an idea that some people don't agree with can be so vilified.

We live in a country where we celebrate (or at least I am naïve enough to hope that we do) an individual's independence to have thoughts and ideas on issues of all sorts.

We hope that we can disagree pleasantly and without rancor.

We can respect the person's right to have these thoughts.

It seems as if there are some people who think that unless you agree with them you are totally wrong.

So then the question becomes one of what is a good mom? Should a mom teach her children to go along with the majority just so they "don't make waves?"

Should a mom teach her child to study and think and try to look at many different ideas and respecting those differences have the courage to speak up? Should a mom nourish and teach and push her child to use those wings and fly?

Thanks, mom!

***

These are the women I thank: Daisy, Dorty, Granny Great, and all the moms before them.

I am humbled to be a link on this chain of jewels.

Happy Mother's Day!