Editorial: I'll say tomato, you come up with the motto

George Carlin had a good line about state mottoes, pointing out that they range from "Live Free or Die" to "Famous Potatoes," and that the truth probably lies somewhere between the two.

Does anyone know Arizona's motto? Suggestions range from "Hot Enough for You?" to "We Was a Border State Back When the U.S. Had Borders," but the state's actual motto is "Ditat Deus (God Enriches)." One can only assume that hundreds and perhaps thousands of people are now offended or made to feel unwelcome by the motto, and that the federal government and/or ACLU will step in soon to force a change to something more akin to who we are as a people.

Something like "Government Enriches" would probably work, but we might be able to swing a deal and make some money by selling the motto name. "Wonder Bread Enriches," for example, or "Arizona: Home of Sparky's $19.95 Oil Change/Filter and Lube."

As we ponder the possibilities, let's move on to a local entity we can provide with words to live by. The City Council is a prime candidate as members wrestle with an ordinance that would prohibit motorists from texting/eating/tuning/smoking/vaping while driving. This comes on the heels of other ordinances regarding smoking in cars and in parks.

With that in mind, how about these motto proposals:

• Kingman City Council - Butting In to Make Your Life Better;

• Kingman City Council - It's Not Our Fault You Didn't Ask If We'd Leave You Alone;

• Kingman City Council - Seriously, If You Pass the Property Tax We'll Never Again Complain About Not Having Enough Money.

•••

In case I haven't used enough cliches already, let me point out that a perfect storm of inconvenient events has given me a dandy excuse for not returning your phone calls or emails.

First, though, let me apologize for not returning your phone calls and emails.

Our storm commenced on Oct. 26, when everyone came to work and discovered the tech fairies had given all of us new computers. The consensus among computer users in the office seems to be that in a month we'll have all the new stuff figured out and life will be wonderful, so why can't we just fast-forward to Dec. 8 and be done with it?

Instead, I fast-forwarded myself into KRMC for four days the last week of October. I spent my time in the CDU (not sure, but I think that stands for Chronic Dementia Unit), and pardon me while I rave about the wonderful people who took care of me, both on the floor and in the emergency room.

I'm not saying anything here that isn't already well known, but it bears repeating: The sooner Kingman Regional Medical Center can solve the logistics of having a second ER on the Hualapai Mountain campus, the better. The Stockton Hill Road ER just can't handle the load.

Back to the matter at hand. The slow slog toward using the new computers more efficiently continues, but getting there is so time consuming I feel there is no time to do anything but computer work. Add to that the pressure of feeling behind on almost everything due to the unplanned absence, and it gets easier to ignore the email that's been sitting in the inbox since Oct. 26 as long as I at least find time to look at the stuff that's arrived since November began.

It's enough to make a guy think he's got chronic dementia.

Maybe that can be my motto.