Keeping It Straight: Ten Things Trump Supporters Are Too Stupid To Realize

  1. Trump Recently Wanted “Socialist” Universal Health Care. Trump’s original health care plan as of September of 2015 involved universal health care for every American citizen. Here’s an article from Breitbart (a super conservative website) that proves it. “I am going to take care of everybody. Everybody’s going to be taken care of much better than they’re taken care of now … I would make a deal with existing hospitals to take care of people and the government’s gonna pay for it.” It wasn’t the first time he pushed for universal health care, either. Here’s what he wrote in 2000: “It is an unacceptable but accurate fact that the number of uninsured Americans has risen to 42 million. We must take care of our own. We must have universal healthcare.”
  2. Trump Used To Support Gun Control. When he wrote his book in 2000 he was big on banning assault weapons along with background checks and waiting periods. You know how people love to rail on Hillary Clinton because she’s a flip-flopper? Donald Trump is also a flip-flopper.
  3. Trump Supported Hillary Clinton! He financially backed her Senate campaigns repeatedly and made a donation of more than $100,000 to the Clinton Foundation. Hillary Clinton sat front-row at Trump’s most recent wedding in 2005 – his third. Trump “Pals Around With Clintons?” Let’s see if that one catches on.
  4. “Trump” isn’t really Donald Trump’s last name. His actual last name is “Drumpf.” Not kidding. His family changed it just before they came to America. That’s right, the immigrant hater not only employees illegal immigrants he’s descended of immigrants. Of course, you probably are too, and that hasn’t stopped you.
  5. Donald Trump Speaks Like A Third-Grader. Do you know why he’s appealing to stupid people? Because he speaks their language. When a bunch of researchers analyzed Trump’s speeches, they found that he uses small words and short sentences, and has the general vocabulary of a CHILD in the third-grade. Shouldn’t a president be smarter than you? Don’t you want a leader who actually thinks? You know… a leader with a brain? A functioning brain?
  6. There’s no pleasant way of saying this, but when you have a booger hanging out of your nose, it’s polite for someone to tell you before you end up being embarrassed. Trump’s supporters look like Nazis at his rallies. Sticking your right hands up in the air and chanting your allegiance to Trump while all of the people who disagree with him are beaten up and dragged away, all while your charismatic leader rambles about how much he hates people of certain ethnicities … you don’t need to be a genius to see the similarities here.
  7. Trump Hates Poor People … Including you. Most of Donald Trump’s supporters are poor. You might hope to be wealthy like Trump someday, but you won’t be. And because you’re poor, Trump thinks you’re a stupid person who doesn’t deserve to vote. Those are his words, not mine. Do you think poverty equals stupidity? Are you a dumb person just because you don’t have as much money as he does? Well … you’re supporting Trump, so you’re definitely a stupid person, but it’s not because you’re poor, it’s because your mom drank during her pregnancy.
  8. Trump Isn’t Actually Explaining His Positions. He talks about how awesome America will be during his presidency, but he doesn’t really tell us how he’ll do any it. The only people who hate Trump more than Democrats are Republicans, so he isn’t going to be able to broker the “fantastic deals” he keeps talking about. And Mexico won’t pay for his wall, either. Why would they? Can you actually answer that question using factual information? No, you can’t, because that factual information does not exist.
  9. Trump supporters claim Trump will “keep us safe.” How exactly will he do that? He just talks tough and acts tough (basically he’s a coward), but what evidence is there of him being capable of thinking strategically and intellectually? What evidence is there that he can keep us out of wars, or prevent terror attacks from striking America?
  10. Trump Lies Constantly. The worst part is, he doesn’t appear to realize he’s doing it. Remember when Trump told you that unemployment was higher than the government claims? Yeah, was making that up. The real unemployment number is 4.9 percent. That’s using the same metric we’ve measured every American President by since the 1940’s. The other, higher number? Yeah, that’s made up. Trump wants you to believe that as much as 50 percent of the country is unemployed, but there’s literally no proof of that whatsoever. He just pulled that number out of his &$# and you’re stupid, so you believed it.

Trump unveiled details of his tax plan. Business taxes across the board will be lowered to 15 percent. Single people who earn less than $25, 000 and married couples who earn less than $50,000 will pay no income tax. This is proposal flies in the face of the conservative belief that all income earners should pay taxes.

I don’t know what else you need to hear, or what other factual information you need to swallow. Any one of these ten things should at least make you second-guess whether you’re backing a total idiot is the right thing to do. The question is, who among you is smart enough to breathe with your mouth closed, let alone use Google and try to ascertain some facts about this ignoramus you want to elect as president?

Donald Trump is the worst kind of idiot there is - a dangerous one. He’s a short-fingered trust-fund baby with a comically absurd hairdo, hell-bent on becoming the president for personal gain, and he’s willing to say whatever stupid people want to hear in order to achieve that goal.

Being stupid is a lifestyle choice, folks. You can be a smart person if you really want to be. All it takes is a small amount of effort, a lot less effort than it takes to join Trump’s brownshirt “movement,” for sure. And before we move on, why won’t Trump release his tax returns? What is he hiding?