Dear Abby: My wife and I have been married for almost 11 years and have three children. About four years ago my wife cheated on me and left. After a six-week split, we decided we wanted to work things out. Everything was great – until recently, when she got a job working at a busy gym.
Several of the guys from the gym have added her on Facebook and send her messages. They like all her posts and pictures. I work out there and when I go in, I see her laughing and joking with them. This has all started to bring me flashbacks to when she cheated.
I tried talking to her about how I feel, but she just says they are my insecurity issues. I’m contemplating divorce so I won’t go through the same pain I went through last time. I check her page constantly to see if she has added any new guys and see what comments they are leaving. It makes me constantly depressed.
My wife has no interest in marriage counseling, but tells me I should seek professional help for my issues. Is there any saving this marriage, or is it time to move on? – Threatened
Dear Threatened: Part of your wife’s job is to be friendly to the members of that gym. It doesn’t mean that she’s involved with any of them outside of work. The problem with jealousy and insecurity is that unless they are managed, they tend to feed on each other and grow. Some sessions with a licensed mental health professional might help you to put your insecurities into perspective. It may save your marriage. However, if it doesn’t ease your mind, you can always talk to a lawyer.
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