Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I moved in with him about a year ago. He has a 9-year-old son, “Todd,” who stays with us every other week.
Todd is a great kid, but he has a genetic disorder and still often wets his bed. When it happens, he changes his pajamas and then climbs into bed with us. I don’t mind, but I have told my boyfriend we need to start the process of his son not getting in bed with us three to four times a week.
Because I know it’s going to be a process that is going to take time, I’m trying to get it started now. I really don’t want an 11- or 12-year-old sleeping in our bed. How should I get this process started without nagging my boyfriend? – Great Kid, But
Dear Great Kid, But: You have a point. Todd is a little too old to be climbing into bed with the two of you. What needs to be addressed – with the boy’s pediatrician and possibly a urologist – is the issue of the bedwetting. After that’s been resolved, suggest that your boyfriend have a talk with Todd and explain that he’s old enough to sleep in his own bed.
Dear Abby: I’m a woman, twice married. My first marriage was to a woman who hurt me deeply by lying and cheating. I am now married to a man who, even with his faults, is a wonderful husband.
My thing is, I am still strongly attracted to women. I consider myself to be bisexual. When my husband notices that I look at women, I’m honest and tell him what I admire about a particular woman. What I leave out is that I’m turned on by them. He is not open to my actively being bisexual, not even a threesome.
Is it all right for me to fantasize when I’m intimate with him that he’s a woman? I know some people fantasize about being with a celebrity or a more attractive mate, but is it all right to fantasize about someone of a different gender? – Fantasizing
Dear Fantasizing: Your bisexuality is part of who you are. You should make clear to your husband that there is nothing “wrong” with being bisexual, and people who are can be and are monogamous. A commitment is a commitment; you’re sticking to yours.
Sexual fantasies are normal. Many people besides yourself fantasize about others (of both sexes) during sex. Because you don’t act on your fantasies, relax and enjoy them, and stop flogging yourself.