Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I are mature adults who enjoy photography. He brings his camera when we go to the beach or sporting events – even to the store. He’s learning all the time about how to use light correctly and his zoom lens.
When we get back and I download the pics from his camera, the majority of shots are of women’s chests, behinds and pretty faces. He has snapped many of them while they were standing right next to me. (There are very few shots of me – ever.)
When I ask if he wants me to delete the photos, he says no. I don’t understand why he would keep pictures of strangers. He says he’s like any photographer – he likes to review his photos. I tell him it hurts my feelings to think he enjoys looking at other women more than at me. It would be different if they were beautiful portraits, but they’re not. It is painful that I’m not included. Am I wrong to feel unimportant and ignored? – Out of the Picture
Dear Out: You are entitled to your feelings, and they may be justified.
Because you identify this man as your boyfriend, I assume you have an exclusive relationship. There will always be women around who are younger and prettier. That’s life.
Because you can’t control his taste in subjects, my advice is to quit downloading his pictures for him if they make you uncomfortable.
Dear Abby: I am 50 and about to re-enter the dating scene. I’m financially stable and look forward to a nice retirement in the future. I hope to find a woman for a lasting relationship. However, I would like her to also be financially stable and building her own retirement fund.
When is it appropriate to ask questions about someone’s financial security and retirement funds/goals? – Secure Texan
Dear Secure Texan: Good question. I don’t think it would be appropriate to ask on a first date, so consider raising the subject right around the time you start talking about sex and politics.
Dear Abby: How do you get a man to help you financially? – Anony-Miss in Beverly Hills
Dear Anony-Miss: Tell him you need his help and hope he’s the type who likes rescuing women.