Dear Abby: When my husband was a teenager, he had an ongoing affair with his mother’s 20-plus-years-older friend “Nicolle.” He would call her by a nickname to signal he wanted sex.
Fast-forward three decades. His family, unaware of their illicit and illegal relationship, regularly invites Nicolle to our family functions. They even call her by that pet nickname, unaware of the connotations.
Their affair ended years before I met my husband. But whenever she is around, she follows him like a lost puppy. How do I get over being uncomfortable and angry at her? I know the truth, but she doesn’t know I know. And, of course, my husband doesn’t want his family to know. What do I do? – Knowing Too Much
Dear Knowing: Have you spoken to your husband about this? He should talk to Nicolle and say, “My wife knows about us, and she is bothered by it.” He should also tell her to stop following him around or decline future invitations to the family gatherings.
Dear Abby: One of my dear friends is pregnant with her first child, and she couldn’t be more excited.
Even though she’s only in her second trimester, her “baby bump” is conspicuous, and it seems people (friends, family and complete strangers) can’t help but comment that she seems “ready to pop.” When they learn she still has many weeks to go, invariably people ask if she’s having twins (she’s not).
Her grandmother went so far as to ask for ultrasound photos to prove she’s carrying only one baby.
It has made my friend very self-conscious.
Even though she’s in perfect health, the comments are really getting to her.
Any advice on how to graciously deflect these unwanted comments? – No Twins In The Twin Cities
Dear No Twins: When someone volunteers that your friend is so big she must be carrying twins, she should say, “Nope! Only one healthy baby in there, according to my gynecologist.”
She needs to remember that there is no end to the insensitive personal comments that people make. It’s important to keep her sense of humor and keep in mind she’ll have to hear them only for a few more months.
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