Dear Abby: New house responsibilities put wife down in the dumps

Dear Abby: My husband decided to buy a house. I never wanted one and now I’m depressed.

I am thankful that my husband provides for the family and puts a roof over our heads, but now that we are in our house, my days are spent doing chores, yard work, and cleaning, cleaning and cleaning. This is why I never wanted the responsibility of a house. I don’t have time for my family because I’m so busy maintaining this house I never wanted.

I have been distant from my husband because I secretly despise him for putting me in this position when he knew it wasn’t what I wanted. Am I being selfish? – Don’t Want the Responsibility

Dear Don’t: Selfish? No. Passive-aggressive, yes. The problem with passive aggression is that the problem never gets resolved. If you feel you have too much on your shoulders, tell your husband how you are feeling so he can either help you with the chores, or hire someone to do the yard work and some of the cleaning.

Dear Abby: I love helping others, but I’m ready to quit every volunteer job I have. I’m tired of people who are not volunteers telling me I am doing my job wrong.

When you volunteer, you are given training on how to do your job. You drive to the site using your own gas, spend your time helping others, and a lot of times you spend your own money to obtain the supplies you need to do the job. I could be spending my time – and resources – doing things like shopping or getting my nails done.

Volunteers don’t want to do all of that only to hear how we’re not doing the job right, suggestions on how to do it better or complaints that we didn’t do enough. I am so sick of people who delight in telling you that you’re not doing enough. I can’t save the world, but I can help one person each day. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. – Sounding Off in Texas

Dear Sounding Off: You’re welcome. That’s what I’m here for. I hope writing this has made you feel better. Now get back to work, because what you do is IMPORTANT.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.