Dear Abby: A few months ago I left my husband after a long marriage, mostly due to his drinking. He often insisted on getting behind the wheel while drunk, and I was uncomfortable about it, although I repeatedly begged him not to do it.
Since our split he has been drinking much later at his favorite bar. Where he used to come home about 8, he now stays until 10 or 11. He recently had an accident on his way home from the bar, but managed to get away before the police arrived.
Part of me wants to contact the police and report it because I would feel horrible if he hurt someone and I had done nothing to stop it. I admit there are also selfish reasons I’d like to see him picked up. My concern is that he’ll find out I turned him in. Any suggestion on what to do? – Nervous in North Carolina
Dear Nervous: Your husband is a menace on the road, and unless something is done to stop him, he may kill somebody. I say this not only because it is common sense, but also because the daughter-in-law of a friend of mine was the victim in a terrible accident caused by a man who was blind drunk. She was the only survivor; two others died. Her injuries are extensive and traumatic, and it may take years for her to fully recover.
So, please, put aside your personal issues. For the safety of the community, turn him in. If his car was damaged, you would not be the only person who is aware of it.
Dear Abby: My husband and I have been together for 21 years. I’m extremely social, while he is not. For the past six to 10 years he has become increasingly resistant to going out in public places, especially when it involves getting together with my family or friends.
During last year’s holidays, I pleaded yet another “sudden illness” on his behalf. I feel he makes himself ill with anxiety so he can bow out at the last minute. When I cancel plans we’ve made – which is often – he generally “feels better” after we cancel. It’s frustrating. While I am sympathetic, I’m tired of making excuses knowing he’s probably fine. What can I do? – Social Butterfly in Portland, Ore.
Dear Butterfly: I think you should go without him, and stop making excuses.