Dear Abby: It's woman's choice to babysit for fee, not fiance's

Dear Abby: I am a stay-at-home mom with three children. Recently, another mom asked me to care for her 3-year-old daughter while she went to work. She offered to pay me, but I declined, given her circumstances, because I consider her a friend even though I have known her for only a short time.

My fiance is now mad at me for not charging her. How can I make him see that it is not a problem for me since I am stuck at home anyway? It’s not like I am losing money by doing her a favor. – Stuck at Home in Colorado

Dear Stuck: That it’s not a problem for you isn’t the point. It’s a problem for your fiance. He may not want the family’s hard-earned money going toward feeding someone else’s child. But ultimately, the decision about whether to do this favor for your friend should be yours, and not his.

Dear Abby: My wife and I recently moved, taking jobs that are closer to our son and daughter-in-law. They have no children but want to start a family, and we are praying for our first grandchild.

When they take business trips (which is often), I take care of their cats and dogs. A few days ago, while I was in their bedroom (where the cats are kept), I saw an anatomically correct sex toy that had been left on the bed stand. I’m no prude, but should I say something to my son? We have an excellent relationship. I’m concerned that he may need some fatherly advice if they are having conception problems. What do you think? – Concerned n Washington

Dear Concerned: In the interest of family harmony, keep your advice to yourself unless you are asked. If they are having “conception problems,” rest assured they will find their way to a fertility expert without your assistance.

Dear Abby: I’ve often wondered what happens to people with an immediate problem that you are unable to answer in print in a timely manner. For example, a bride with an upcoming wedding, or someone trying to decide where to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas. Do you write them outside of your column? – Just Wondering in Harrisonburg, Pa.

Dear Just Wondering: Yes. Time-sensitive questions are often dealt with separately, apart from my column.