Dear Abby: Mom’s past relationship is subject of sons’ curiosity

Dear Abby: When I was a young, newly divorced, single mother, I returned to college. There I met a woman in similar circumstances. We became fast friends, decided to pool our resources while we pursued higher education and moved in together. Over time, the friendship became more than platonic.

This was my first experience with same-sex relationships, and I loved her deeply. We had six years together, but ultimately it didn’t work out and we moved on. I have been in a committed marriage all these years since.

Recently, her now-grown sons called me to “catch up.” During the course of the conversation, they asked me if their mother and I had had an intimate relationship.

I didn’t know what to say. My ex became very religious after our split and has never openly acknowledged (that I know of) the nature of our relationship.

It’s certainly not my story to tell, but I didn’t know how to respond to her sons without telling a blatant lie or giving an answer that would verify their suspicions. So I faked losing the phone connection to keep from answering. What should I do the next time they call? –Ancient History in Arizona

Dear Ancient History: Do not “out” her to her sons. The next time they call, if that question is asked again, handle it with a laugh and say they should take their questions about their mother’s sex life directly to her. Period!

Dear Abby: I raised all five of my children without much help from their deadbeat dad, who was never around. They are grown now. I am still single and barely making a living.

All of my kids live around the Dallas area. I don’t. Where I live is working for me because I have jobs, but I want to be near them. Should I throw away what I have to go and be near them, or stay where I am financially stable? I love my children so much. – Lonesome Mom

Dear Lonesome Mom: Unless you are sure you can find work in the Dallas area, you should not relocate.

It would make more sense for you to discuss this with your children and encourage them to visit you more often, if it’s feasible.