Dear Abby: Name-calling mom attempts to disrupt son’s marriage

Dear Abby: I have been married to “Amanda” for four years. During that time, my parents, especially my mother, have called her and her family “trashy” because they live in a rural area in Texas.

My mother has no reason to abuse my wife the way she does. Amanda’s family has always been very kind to me. What really gets me is that my mother also grew up in a rural area. My mother has said repeatedly that if I don’t get a divorce, things will never get any better between her and me. – Abuse in Texas

Dear Abuse: When a man marries, he is expected to separate from his family and form a new family with his wife. You must not allow your mother to belittle and abuse Amanda, who must now come first. Because your mother has no intention of changing, it’s time to get a divorce – from HER. If you don’t, she will not only make your life miserable, but also your wife’s. (Happy wife, happy life!)

Dear Abby: Over the last 10 years, I have loaned books to friends and co-workers. Each time, the books were never returned to me. When I followed up with one friend about it, he seemed insulted that I would ask for the book back. Other people I’ve loaned books to never mentioned them again. – Bookworm in Michigan

Dear Bookworm: No rule of etiquette dictates that when something is lent it is the person’s to keep. The individuals you lent the books to may have been embarrassed because they never got around to reading them.

I suppose you could make clear that you expect a book back within a certain period of time. But the only way to “guarantee” that you get the book back is to not lend it in the first place.

Dear Abby: Visitations after a death provide an opportunity for friends and family to see people they may not have seen in a long time. I have decided that I don’t want to miss mine, so I have decided to have it on my 75th birthday. There will be food, drink and photos on the big-screen TV.

My question is, what should I call it? A “celebration of my life” seems presumptuous, but I can’t think of anything better. – Stuck for a Label

Dear Stuck for a Label: I can’t improve on the label you have already “stuck” on your party. It will be a celebration of life, so why not call it what it is?