Dear Abby: I have been married for 45 years. My husband and I get along fine. We each have our little quirks, but after all these years, we are used to each other. There is just one thing that really bugs me about him. When repairs need to be done outside the house, we have it done – new roof, new siding, driveway paved, even solar panels. We have also done some work inside, such as remodeling the kitchen and bathrooms.
Twelve years after moving into our home, I finally insisted that it be repainted on the inside. My husband griped about it nonstop. I told him he didn’t have to do the painting; we would hire someone to do the job. (He did have to help me move the furniture.)
Well, now it’s time to replace the carpet. It’s original. It’s 30 years old, stained and worn out. Again, he’s griping and complaining. It drives a wedge between us. Money isn’t the issue. He says I am “always bothering him with one thing after another.” Is it asking too much to have these things done inside my home after so many years? – “Nagging” Wife
Dear Wife: I don’t think so. Nothing lasts forever, and that includes carpet. Make a deal with him – you will hire someone to move the furniture this time if he will stop complaining. The disruption will be over in a few days, and the interior of your home will look fresher and newer once that carpet is history.
Dear Abby: I have a problem I don’t think you have ever addressed. Both of my testicles have been removed. Fortunately, they were not cancerous. It doesn’t bother my wife, which is a blessing. Most support groups are for cancer survivors, and I’m wondering if you know of any groups for men like me. Some days I still can’t cope with it because this is part of being a man. Any suggestions? – Trying To Cope In Oklahoma
Dear Trying To Cope: The doctor who saw you through the procedure may be able to refer you to a group or a therapist who can help you with your adjustment. If you haven’t already contacted that physician, it would be a good place to start. Although most members of support groups are probably cancer survivors, you still will have much in common, so keep an open mind before dismissing the idea entirely.
More like this story
- Dear Abby: Husband’s distress over ex’s bad news perplexes new wife
- Dear Abby: Deceased grandma still lives through grandpa’s deception
- Dear Abby: Man gets needed health care in a marriage of convenience
- Dear Abby: Moving away isn’t the answer to kids’ early morning mayhem
- Dear Abby: After 40 years, ex-wife still can’t let go of man she left