Dear Abby: I’m a happily married woman in my 30s. Although we don’t have children yet, many of our friends do. Some of them have boys who are approaching or are already in their early teens.
I’m embarrassed to even ask, but what are the best ways to avoid or immediately stop unwanted just-reaching-puberty attention from young boys? I am modest in my attire, I don’t interact more than I need to with them and I would never want to harm a child. But the looks and actions I get from some of them have my stomach churning. I need to know how to appropriately shut it down.
My husband just chuckles and shrugs his shoulders, saying, “They just want to talk to girls.” I feel sick. Please help. – Unwanted Attention
Dear Unwanted Attention: Unless you have left something out of your letter, what the boys are doing is normal adolescent boy behavior. However, because you feel some of them have crossed the line, you should tell their parents.
Dear Abby: My sister-in-law visits from out of state each year and stays with us for about a week. When she’s here she invites her friends to our house and entertains them without asking us if we mind. I feel it’s extremely rude, but my husband says we need to “put up and shut up” because she’s family. I feel she could easily go to their homes to visit instead of inviting everyone here.
Is my husband correct? Am I wrong thinking she’s being inappropriate as a houseguest? – Confused Host In The East
Dear Confused: As your houseguest, your sister-in-law should have been asking you and your husband whether you minded having her friends over during her visit. She should also have bought food and beverages to accommodate them, and a house gift for the two of you. However, because she has been getting away with it for years, do not expect her to change. The time to have spoken up was the first time she did it.
–Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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