Dear Abby: I have an extremely difficult decision to make. I recently got engaged to the love of my life. However, with this comes the decision of who should be my maid of honor.
Until a couple of years ago, the choice was obvious – my cousin. Over the past couple of years, though, we’ve become distant. She’s an extremely flaky person and can’t be counted on for much. Now, I also have a best friend who is always there when I need her, but we’ve been friends for only a couple of years.
My immediate family says I should still ask my cousin to be my maid of honor because her feelings will be hurt if I don’t. Abby, I don’t want to give such a special title to someone I can no longer depend on. She has hurt my feelings countless times by not being there. She shouldn’t get the honor just because I’ve known her forever. Please help. – Stuck At a Crossroads
Dear Stuck: Talk to your cousin and also your best friend. When you do, remind your cousin there are serious responsibilities that go along with being a maid of honor and ask if they would create a problem for her. Tell her that if it’s too much for her, she could be a bridesmaid. If she says she wants to be maid of honor, give her the chance. However, if she flakes even once, ask your best friend to step in.
Dear Abby: Last year I came out as a gay man. I’m 35, and it was a very difficult decision.
I haven’t been in a relationship with a man before and have dated only women up until now. I have been on a few dates, and I feel like I fall too fast and easy for a guy. I’m struggling to fit into the gay community and understand what is acceptable and what is not.
I recently met someone I really like, but I’m not sure if he feels the same way. I have never felt this way about anyone before, and I am scared I’ll mess it up. I don’t want to be alone and I’m afraid that’s what is going to happen to me.
I am not sure how to interact with other gay guys. It took me so long to come out, I don’t want it to take forever to find someone. How do I get over this fear of being alone and be comfortable around guys? – Feeling Lost in Massachusetts
Dear Feeling Lost: Make a conscious decision to relax and just be yourself because it isn’t necessary to be anyone but who you are.