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Wed, April 24

A Miner Conversation

The wheels of injustice go round-and-round

Have you ever wondered where the balance in life exists? Why some people experience more of life's challenges than others? Why there are people who know very little sadness, while there are others who have nearly drowned in it?

I had a conversation with a friend who said they had never lost anyone they loved before.

I don't know of many people who could say the same.

Just this week my family said goodbye to our beloved uncle, and my husband and I had to have our pet of eleven years put to sleep.

Why do some people skip through life, leading a basically unscathed existence, while others have numerous hardships, over and over again? It's as if we are trying to fool the wheels of injustice, making everything appear equal.

There must be a purpose in all of life's lessons; to believe in anything other than that would mean that all of this is for nothing.

That everything we are doing here is pointless and we are simply enjoying the scenery.

Personally, I have become accustomed to the wheels of injustice.

Many of my family members have passed on, the most difficult and heart wrenching being the loss of my 8-month-old son.

When you lose a child, it changes you forever and nothing will ever compare to the pain.

But I try not to complain; rather I try to turn that into an advantage when I meet new challenges.

I know if I am still surviving after losing my child, I can survive anything, and that gives me peace of mind.

I read a book when he died, and in it there was a passage regarding our "spirit forms." It stated that before we come to this Earth we create a personal "blueprint." We know our purpose for coming here, we choose our paths and we choose our family.

And we know when we will die.

I thought to myself, if we come here with this kind of knowledge, then perhaps my son knew.

With that, I take the pain in losing him and tell myself how fortunate I am he chose us.

And, if he did in fact know his purpose and accepted it, perhaps I should learn to accept it, too.

That will continue to be a work in progress.

"If it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger."

But in the process of becoming stronger, how do you prevent yourself from becoming jaded? How do you not slip into a world of self pity and refrain from playing the "why me?" card?

I don't know.

You just do.

You make the choice to rise above the pain and the unfairness in it all.

You take control of the situation rather than letting the situation control you.

You choose to take the experiences and use them to shape your future, hopefully for the better because of the knowledge you have gained.

If you do this, it all does have meaning and purpose.

I have learned the value and sentiment in some of the sayings I have heard repeated over the years.

To me, they have new meaning.

The adages now ring a truth; a truth that can only be known by a heart that shares the same as mine.

"It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved before."

And again I wonder why, yet I am grateful.

For the wheels of injustice, I owe a debt of gratitude.

Had it not been for my blueprint in life, I would never have known the love that I found in knowing my son, just as my aunt would have never known the love she shared with our uncle.

"I have learned to accept the things I can not change, and to change the things I can."

Just a Miner Conversation.

Let me know what you think.

Dana Miner is the Miner's editorial technician.

She can be reached by e-mail at


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