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Wed, March 20

Kingman Letters: As the presidential election nears

Image: WIKIMEDIA COMMONS<br /><br /><!-- 1upcrlf2 -->Santorum & Romney

Image: WIKIMEDIA COMMONS<br /><br /><!-- 1upcrlf2 -->Santorum & Romney

The battle for the Republican nomination is rapidly approaching the end and is pretty much down to two candidates, Romney and Santorum. So which one would you want to be the next president?

Let's start with the fact that the government is always going to be in your face, regardless of which party controls congress or whoever occupies the White House. That is an absolute given.

With Santorum, you will not only have the government in your face, but also the Catholic Church in your bedroom. Women are more than capable of determining their own health care, including the use of the "pill" for other reasons than just contraception. And all health insurance plans should pay for them as medically necessary. After all, don't these insurance plans pay for Viagra and penis pumps for males? And if St. Santorum gets his law through to outlaw recreational sex, don't bother appealing it to the Supreme Court. Six of the justices are Catholic.

I recently received a heads up from one of the local conspiracy theorists that If Santorum was to become president, then every man, women, and child, regardless of faith, or lack thereof, would receive their own personal set of rosary beads. Unfortunately, these rosary beads contain a "bug" that will inform the church/government that you are not faithfully using these beads. So you better use these beads or you will get a late night visit by some guys wearing funny hats.

With Romney, you will only have the government in your face. You won't have to worry about the Mormon Church in your bedroom, maybe only an occasional missionary banging on your door trying to convert you. It is not necessary for you to convert at this time; they will wait until you are dead and then baptize you into their church. At least when you are dead you are not expected to tithe, but somehow I don't think at that point it matters anymore.

On second thought, just vote for Obama.

Al Koffman



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