Trusted local news leader for Kingman, Arizona & Mohave County
Wed, March 20

Dear Abby: Unworkable living arrangement weighs heavily on young man

Dear Abby: Earlier this year I moved away from home to move in with my boyfriend. We had been dating for more than a year and were close enough we could see each other whenever our schedules allowed.

However, over the last few months I have been second-guessing that decision. I’m noticing things that I realize won’t work.

To make matters more complicated, I met a girl who quickly became a good friend three months ago.

She has inspired – and in some ways pushed – me to go back to college and improve my life. I find myself falling for her. The thing is, she just started dating someone, and I would never betray my partner by being unfaithful.

I don’t know what to do. I can see my relationship with my boyfriend is not going to work out, and I know I’m not going to violate my female friend’s relationship either.

How does someone end a relationship when they live together? And how do I deal with the fear that I’ll be miserable being on my own again, and the guilt of breaking my partner’s heart? – Mixed-Up Guy in the Midwest

Dear Mixed-Up Guy: The first thing you need to do is recognize that being unencumbered can be a positive thing, particularly if you are not happy or satisfied with the relationship you are in.

The adage “When a door closes, another one opens” is usually true. Start looking around for alternative living arrangements, and when you find something that will work for you, explain to your boyfriend that you need to “make some changes.”

It’s better for both of you than living a lie. As to your relationship with the young woman, whether she stays with the person she’s dating is something neither of us can predict.

When you are single, she may become available. Or, you may meet someone else and start a relationship. Don’t be afraid. These are the things that make life interesting.


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