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Thu, April 25

After Trump is elected: A fable

Keeping it Straight

Keeping it Straight

The election results were surprising, not the least of all to supporters of Donald Trump. After his win was announced there were literally millions of his supporters around the nation who commented, “I neffer thought ole Trump would win. Hell-fire I ownliest voted for him to kinda show efferyone not all of us’ns was happy wiff the way the gubment is beanin’ handled. I wish there’s sum way I could take back that vote. Ole Trump is a gonna cause a lot of trouble.”

From around the world, nation’s suddenly realized they were going to have to deal with a moron in the White House and after surviving the last moron, that idiot Bush kid, felt they were faced with a nearly impossible task.

Mexico immediately announced suspension of all treaties with the United States going back to the Treaty of Guadalupe Hildago of 1848 that gave the United States the Rio Grande as the boundary with Texas, along with ownership of California, half of New Mexico, most of Arizona, Nevada, Utah and parts of Wyoming and Colorado. A surprising announcement revealed Mexico had secretly obtained nuclear weapons, a move predicated by Trump’s vitriolic comments about Mexico and the Mexican people during his campaign. Further cranking up the tension the president of Mexico said if Trump was allowed to assume office an immediate state of war would exist between Mexico and the United States.

Trump’s response was, “Bring it on, beaners! We’ll bomb you and your taco-trucks back to the Stone Age.” Congress, in a pathetic attempt to defuse the situation, declared Trump has no authority to bomb anyone and they would work diligently (something not done over the past eight years) with Mexico to prevent an actual war. In an attempt to appease Mexico, Congress rushed through a bill in exchange for the United States keeping California and the upper halves of New Mexico and Arizona; Mexico would receive the state of Texas from the Panhandle south to the Rio Grande along with the southern halves of New Mexico and Arizona. President Obama immediately signed the legislation with a smile saying, “I guess Texas finally got their wish. They are no longer a part of the United States.”

As the Army Corps of Engineers worked to erect a fence separating Texas from the United States, Mexico issued an edict that Spanish was the official language of the newly acquired territories with incarceration being instant punishment for failing to speak Spanish. In addition, all current residents would be required to present documents affirming they are citizens of Mexico. Those unable to produce proper documentation would be jailed. President Obama issued what would be one of his last Executive Orders, refusing entrance of anyone from the newly designated areas of Mexico based on their residency in a terrorist nation that threatened the United States with nuclear weapons.

When Trump was sworn in, secretly in a small office in the basement of the Capitol building because of security threats he, without delay, handed over a sheaf of papers to the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Each page had Executive Order scrawled on the top. John Roberts handed them back informing Trump that, “This is not how the system works.” Trump demanded to know who to give the executive orders to. Roberts shook his head and walked away.

The only media allowed to attend the swearing in was FOX News, the infotainment group that supported Trump while continually lying about his opponent during the contentious election. Many members of Congress refused to attend the swearing in as did members of the Supreme Court. Trump said they would all be jailed as traitors.

Trump took to the airwaves, but only on FOX having declared all other media sources as biased and banning reporters stating, “I’ll never again have to hear them telling the truth about me!” His announcement was the naming of cabinet and department heads, including Michelle Bachmann as Secretary of State, Sarah Palin as Secretary of Defense, Ann Coulter as Attorney General, Sean Hannity as the head of the Department of Homeland Security, Rush Limbaugh as Surgeon General, and Pat Robertson heading the newly formed Department of Religious Adjustment.

Trump refused to move into the White House, claiming the historic home of the presidents, “A dump with none of the amenities me and my family are accustomed to. I wouldn’t put my dog in that place; particularly after that last bunch had contaminated the place.” Within days Trump Realty Holdings, LLC, placed the White House on the market seeking $1,000,000 or “best offer.”

Quickly stepping into the position as president Trump issued additional executive orders making Communist China a “friend of the United States” with favored nation status for any and all defense contracts. Within hours of the release the State Bank of China forgave the nearly $500 million dollar loan owed by President Trump. Russian Dictator Putin was issued an invitation to the Trump residence in New York City where the two buddies later flew to Washington for a visit to the White House and Pentagon War Rooms and other facilities long classified as “off-limits” to foreigners.

As President Trump and his minions moved through the government like a plague of diseased locusts, people who had not supported him were hunted through examination of voting records and if they refused to swear fealty to Trump were faced with incarceration at one of the hastily constructed Trump Readjustment Camps. The majority refused and were quickly transported to the camps. The children of dissenters were moved to Trump Industry Work camps and put to work assembling Trump products.

Of course this is only a fable, but unfortunately some fables come true, making it important that everyone fully understand the importance of their vote in November.


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