Dear Abby: Girlfriend still in closet is taking her time to come out
Dear Abby: I’m a lesbian currently dating a woman who is still in the closet. She now identifies as bisexual. We have been dating for about a year.
The issue is that she is still in contact with a lot of her ex-boyfriends. I don’t expect her to come out of the closet on my time. However, I do have a problem with her talking to ex-boyfriends when they don’t know she’s in a relationship. She thinks I’m overreacting. However, she has admitted that she’d have a problem with me talking to exes and not bringing up the fact I’m in a relationship.
She has finally admitted that I am a friend and introduced me to her family and one other friend. It took a lot of work to get that far. I am demanding that she acknowledge – at the very least – that she is in a relationship. I’m not demanding she tell them it’s with a girl. I don’t want to date someone who is ashamed of me.
Most of the time when she talks to an ex, new romantic interests don’t seem to come up. I would prefer that she tell them right away, although she argues it isn’t the right time to randomly bring it up in a conversation. I no longer trust her to care more about my feelings than her interests. Should I say goodbye to this one? – Dating in Silence
Dear Dating in Silence: Yes. If, after a year of dating, your girlfriend is still hiding your relationship, I think that’s exactly what you should do. LGBT people come out in their own way, in their own time. If this difference in where the two of you are is a deal-breaker, you should move on and find someone more compatible.
Dear Abby: I love to cook for my family. My granddaughter has now become a vegan. It has taken away my enjoyment for the fun meals we used to have. I can no longer cook for her, and it has changed the family dynamics. How can I cope with this without being angry? – Sad Down South
Dear Sad: Allow me to offer two suggestions. Either have your granddaughter bring food with her that she can eat, or widen your repertoire by learning to prepare one vegan dish the entire family can enjoy along with her.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.