Trusted local news leader for Kingman, Arizona & Mohave County
Tue, Nov. 19

Dear Abby: Wife in sexless marriage is tempted by outside offer

Dear Abby: I’ve been in a committed relationship for 19 years, and have been married for three years. My husband is wonderful, except he has absolutely no sex drive. And of course, in the true nature of opposition, mine is off the charts.

I have met another man who is in a loveless marriage. He says they don’t have intimate relations, and she knows he has had “flings” over the years. He has asked me to be his newest “friend with benefits.” He’s attractive, employed, and wants only a physical relationship. (I suspect their marriage is tied to his business, but I’m not sure.)

I’m honestly tempted, because I’m lonely in that regard. No marriage is perfect, by any means, but am I biting off more than I can chew even if I get my husband’s permission (which he would likely give), and assuming this man is telling the truth about his wife? What to do? – Desperate in the North

Dear Desperate: While some open marriages have been known to work if the husband and wife are willing, I hesitate to recommend it. You describe yourself as desperate. You MUST be desperate to consider becoming someone’s latest “fling.”

Did your husband’s low sex drive exist before your marriage, or is it something new? If it is recent, there may be medical help for his problem – if he is willing to talk to his doctor about it. Please suggest it before you do anything else.

Dear Abby: I am a “catfisher.” I use a fake Facebook account with pictures of an attractive woman to attract men. I specifically target married or committed men. I talk to and flirt with them online to see how far they’ll go. They often ask me for more pictures and invite me to meet somewhere for sex. I never give real information or meet any of them.

My question is, should I let the women these men are involved with know that their men are unfaithful or keep it to myself? – Karma in Georgia

Dear Karma: How can you be concerned for the wives and girlfriends when YOU are the person providing the temptation? I think you would be better served if you worked on your own problem before you try to resolve the issues of people you have never met and never will.

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