Dear Abby: I dated the perfect man for two years. When he asked me to marry him, I had to say yes. He was kind, gentle, attentive, easygoing, full of dreams, great sense of humor, an excellent provider and sexually the best.
Three months after our perfect wedding, it all began to unravel. I learned he is bipolar with manic episodes. He has been married three times before me and always lost interest in sex. He says he may be attracted to men, then tells me he’s not sure. He also isn’t as good handling his financial affairs as he led me to believe.
I’m 58, and he’s 59. How could I not have had a clue about any of this? I sold my house to move into the parsonage with him. After repeatedly being lied to, misinformed or left out of the loop all together, I am now couch-surfing, mainly at my ex-husband’s house.
I feel tired and broken – no income, no home, no respect and no hope of him getting it together. I would appreciate any advice or counsel. All I have figured out is to start over and remain single as he is my third husband. – Third Time Around
Dear T.T.A.: You will feel less tired and broken after you have consulted a lawyer about helping you get out of this fraudulent marriage. And while you’re at it, you and your lawyer should bring this to the attention of the church council or whoever holds the lease on that parsonage. I am sure they will be very interested in what you have to say about the leader of their flock.
Dear Abby: I am writing this to relieve a heavy burden I have carried for many years. I’m 16 and have had a crush on this girl since I was 9. I fell in love with her the first time I saw her and have never gotten over it.
I have always had a problem expressing my feelings. I have been very shy from the day I was born. Now that I’m older, I have more confidence and have lost most of my shyness. What should I do after years of barely talking to her? – Not So Shy Anymore
Dear Not So Shy: Now that you have more confidence, start talking to her. You don’t have to declare your love in the first conversation, but her reaction will tell you if she wants to have some sort of relationship with you, even if it’s only friendship.