If you're not coupled, pay attention to who keeps showing up
June is well upon us and that means lots of graduations, family vacations and, of course, weddings. I think I read somewhere that June is the most popular month for weddings. My own parents were married in June 1938.
I know there are many people who marry their high school sweetheart, but did you know there are also lots of people who marry that high school sweetheart 30 years later? Just in my family circle, I know of three couples who married a high school sweetheart when they were both in their 50s. It is much more common than I imagined.
I got to thinking about these numbers and wondered why it took so many years to realize their true loves were there all along? One case in particular, (one of my nieces) is getting married tomorrow. Her husband is the kid she was madly in love with while they were both living in the same small town. They did not go to high school together as he was a bit older and already finished. She did not marry him when she finished school, but instead moved away. Her younger sister remained, and later married and raised her children there.
Over the next 30 years or so my niece married and had children and grandchildren, while her old boyfriend did the same, but remained in the small town – the town she left behind.
One day out of nowhere my niece received a comment from him on Facebook. Not knowing much about his life at this point, except for that her sister was actually his mailcarrier. And she, of course, knew that he was single again and living and working in the same place as before. Shortly after the random comment she received a private message on Facebook that he would like to talk with her.
Fast forward one year later ... She went back to visit her sister and some old friends who, like the boyfriend, had never left. While she was there, they soon realized they still loved each other. Or maybe they just fell in love all over again. Whatever the case, by the time you read this they will be husband and wife.
I believe that we all have a specific time in our lives that certain events are just supposed to happen. You can call it destiny, if you like. In any case, things often just work out at the proper time. You can certainly plan your life, only to find that the happy ending has escaped you.
On the other hand, it may not be the right time yet. Perhaps you and your soulmate have business to finish first. Surely the ideal marriage at 18 or 19 is a far cry from what you are looking for at 50. Living together while working and raising children is a totally different life experience than what you are hoping for at 50, 60 or even later.
Class reunions are often another way that old flames reconnect. I hear that sometimes they feel as though they picked up right where they left off. In my family, we have at least two couples who indeed found each other again at a class reunion. I am not talking the 10-year one, either. These people had not been friendly for more than 30 years! My mother used to say that "Sometimes you need to squeeze a lot of lemons, before you find a peach." I took that to mean perhaps you spend many years figuring out what you don't want, before you find what it is you do want. In the process, you may have several long and loving relationships. Sometimes situations just change, and often we ourselves change.
Maybe those who marry once and do live happily ever after are the truly lucky ones. Or maybe not. Perhaps that second, third or even fourth or fifth time around could actually be the perfect one you had been looking for all along.
Some people do come into our lives for just a brief time. Others are with us throughout all the years, sometimes coming and going. We should pay attention to those who keep showing up.
You might be in line for a June wedding.