Trusted local news leader for Kingman, Arizona & Mohave County
Sun, May 19

Dear Abby: Friend with benefits turns out to be a disappointment

Dear Abby: I have known this guy “Noah” for six years. We’re mostly just friends with benefits, but I’ve always had deeper feelings for him. I always wanted to see where things could go between us, so I mentioned it to him. He told me that if he didn’t already have a girlfriend, he would have dated me. So when they broke up, I waited patiently.

I continued being a good friend to Noah, giving him advice and putting my own feelings off to the side. Then just when I felt us getting to another level in our relationship, he told me he had another girlfriend and we needed to stop. I would never sleep with a guy who is with someone else. I’m not that type of girl.

What should I do? I’m confused and hurt at the same time. Should I bring up my feelings again? Just let him go? Or should I keep him in my life, but in a friend-only way? – Jumbled Emotions

Dear Jumbled: I don’t blame you for feeling confused. When someone’s words and actions don’t match, something is wrong. If Noah had been honest, you would have had your chance with him.

I vote for letting him go because you want more than he’s apparently able to give. If you do, it may hurt for a while, but it will make it easier for you to find someone who can love you back.

Dear Abby: I am the mom of two sons, ages 13 and 14. When I took them for their annual physical last summer, their pediatrician said this would be the last year I would be in the room while he examined my sons.

I don’t understand why I should have to leave if my children are OK with my being there. My sons are comfortable with me, and I am an only parent. It seems to me that more and more rights are being taken away from parents. Am I out of line for feeling this way? – Exam Room Off-Limits

Dear Off-Limits: Yes, if you trust your sons’ doctor, which I hope you do.

By ages 13 and 14, your sons are maturing into manhood. As their hormones and bodies change, they may have questions and concerns they would be more comfortable – and less embarrassed – talking to a male doctor about than their mother. Privacy in the examination room would give them the chance to do that.


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