Dear Abby: Man’s devotion to his family leaves girlfriend feeling lonely
Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I just moved in together. We have been a couple for seven years. Until now, we have lived with our parents.
I knew moving in would be a struggle for him because he’s very close to his four siblings. Now that we’ve moved in, he calls and video chats with them every day, visits twice a week or more and has sleepovers. He also leaves work early to take his siblings on field trips or attend their sports events.
I’m finding it very frustrating being alone all the time. I have talked to him and expressed my feelings about the amount of time he spends with his family. In my opinion, it’s excessive, especially since neither of his parents works.
He asked me to give him time to adjust, but it has already been a month. This is the man I want to marry one day, but I can’t help but feel like I’m never put first. Please help! – Confounded in California
Dear Confounded: You and your boyfriend have been living together a grand total of one month. This is a period of adjustment for BOTH of you. It’s unrealistic to expect your boyfriend – who appears to be tightly bound to his parents and siblings – to instantly focus all his attention on you. Give it time.
Dear Abby: I am single, 33, and have two kids. I have dipped my toe in the dating pool without success. I am not lonely, but I find myself wanting a relationship.
When I tried dating websites, I got a mixed bag of colorful characters. When I do find someone I’m interested in, it fizzles out quickly.
We start out by messaging on the site, then we text each other. The problem I am having is that these men don’t ask “get to know you questions” or keep up a conversation at all. If I don’t text first or keep the conversation going, there’s no communication at all. All of them state they want a relationship, but they don’t put forth the effort. I’m not sure what the problem is.
Have any sage advice for me? – Looking in Nebraska
Dear Looking: You say you are messaging back and forth. After a few days of conversation, have you suggested getting together for a coffee date? It might provide an opportunity to find out more about these men.