Dear Abby | Wife can’t watch as ‘friend’ abuses husband’s generosity
Dear Abby: My husband loaned a “dear friend” some money a year ago. She has yet to pay back a penny. When I ask him about it, he gets mad and tells me it’s none of my business. I have hinted to her about some large bills that we have to pay, to no avail.
Other than that, my husband and I have a great marriage and love each other very much. I just don’t like her taking advantage of his generosity. I know taking care of his friends gives him pleasure, but he has been burned before and I can see it happening again. I find it hard to ignore. What do I do? – Sick of It in New Hampshire
Dear Sick of It: I wish you had mentioned whether you work and the money your soft-touch hubby gave his friend was partly earned by you. If that’s the case, I don’t blame you for being upset.
While I’m not sure you can prevent your husband from doing this, I do think you are within your rights to insist that before he does it he discuss it with you. If he will do that, perhaps the two of you can find an alternative for the person other than giving out money.
Dear Abby: My son passed away unexpectedly a little over eight years ago. He was 21. At the time, he had been dating a very nice young lady. We kept in touch for a while after the funeral – letters and emails mostly, as I had moved out of state – but things gradually tapered off.
I have been able to keep somewhat informed about her life because of the magic of social media and mutual friends she shared with my son who still contact me occasionally. I recently learned she’s being married within the next two weeks. I am wondering if it would be wrong or weird of me to send a congratulatory card to the happy couple. I wish only continued happiness for her and her future husband. – Wishing Happiness
Dear Wishing: I see nothing wrong or weird about sending her a nice card, and when you do, be sure to tell her not only that you wish her a happy future, but also that she will always have a special place in your heart.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.