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Sat, Dec. 14

Dear Abby | Bride is drowning in details of planning a beach wedding

Dear Abby: My fiance and I are looking forward to being married soon. The problem is, he wants a traditional wedding with bridesmaids and groomsmen, and I prefer a wedding at the courthouse.

I’m not good at planning parties, and we have almost no budget to work with. We will be paying for all of this out of pocket. We have a venue booked on a beach. However, the amount of planning that’s going into this weeklong wedding/family vacation – with all invitees attending – is becoming too much.

My future mother-in-law doesn’t care for me, and dealing with her is stressful. My fiance is not planning the wedding. I am, by default. I really don’t want to do this, and we can’t hire a wedding planner. Do you have any suggestions on how to compromise on this situation? – Wedded Un-Bliss in Texas

Dear Wedded Un-Bliss: There are solid reasons it is recommended that engaged couples have premarital counseling to work out any disagreements before the vows are spoken. I’m suggesting it for you. Your celebration should be kept low-key and inexpensive, and you do not have to explain or apologize to anyone for it.

I would like to caution you, however, to think twice about going through with this marriage. From where I sit, you will have a built-in mother-in-law problem because the woman doesn’t like you, as well as an irresponsible husband who is unwilling to compromise. It doesn’t take a crystal ball to predict that you will have some serious challenges to contend with.

Dear Readers: Happy Mother’s Day to mothers everywhere – birth mothers, adoptive and foster mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers who are raising their grandchildren and dual-role dads.

Orchids to all of you for the love you give each and every day!

Love, Abby

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order “How to Be Popular.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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