Dear Abby | Man with nose to grindstone can’t see wife’s unhappiness
Dear Abby: I have been married to a wonderful man for 17 years. The drawback is he’s a workaholic. We have not spent even one day together doing something fun in more than 10 years.
We both work full-time and live on a small farm. My husband is a carpenter. He collects tractors and works hay fields all summer long. Because he comes in late each evening, I often eat dinner alone. On weekends, he’s working on his tractors or cutting and baling hay.
I do see him a bit more during the winter months, but he thinks it’s a waste of time and money to go somewhere nice for dinner or take a weekend getaway. When I do travel, it is with my siblings because my husband prefers to stay home and work.
I love him, but I’m beginning to feel like I am not his top priority. I am lonely for his companionship. I just don’t know how to handle this. He’s pretty set in his ways. Help. – Withering
Dear Withering: A husband who is unwilling to devote time to his wife doesn’t sound “wonderful” to me. Perhaps you should consider having a snack after you return from work, so you can have dinner with him when he comes in.
You appear to have a communication problem. Tell him what you want, and don’t be shy about it. If he is unwilling to listen, then you will have to evaluate whether you want to spend the rest of your life “withering.”
Dear Abby: I am a very open person, but one thing I am not open about is the STD I have been living with for the last few years. My ex didn’t know he had it, and he gave it to me. Now free of him, I’m ready to date again, but I’m afraid of the judgment I may receive from potential partners.
I have heard all kinds of stigmatizing, dehumanizing and cruel comments about STDs, and I wonder to myself if people were better educated about this, maybe they wouldn’t sound so ignorant. How do I go about dating with an STI/STD? – Moving Forward
Dear Moving Forward: According to the Centers for Disease Control nearly 20 million new sexually transmitted infections occur EVERY YEAR in this country, so please don’t think you are alone. Knowing other individuals are going through what you are may help you to feel less isolated and stigmatized.