Dear Abby | Mom is treated like distant relation at son’s wedding
Dear Abby: My son was married eight months ago. He and I were close but had problems in the past. His bride left me out of the wedding pictures. It began at the bridal shower, when I noticed she didn’t want me to be in the pictures. Until that point I thought I was close to her. It was very hurtful.
They had planned a destination wedding, which only my brother and I were able to attend from my son’s side of the family. It was a nine-day cruise to the Bahamas. At the wedding dinner, I was not seated with my son. Her parents were seated at the table along with friends of her parents.
The next day, I told my son I was upset when I found I was excluded from his table. He said I had overreacted and to get over it. The rest of the cruise was just a blur for me. I didn’t enjoy myself, nor was I included in any plans the group had made. I was told later that because I had overreacted, my son didn’t want to accommodate me in any way. This has put a strain on our relationship.
They are now expecting a child, and I’m told if I want to be a part of my grandbaby’s life, I must apologize to my daughter-in-law and her family. What would you do? – Peeved on the East Coast
Dear Peeved: If I wanted to be a part of my grandbaby’s life, I would apologize, although I can understand why you would have been upset that you and your brother were excluded from the head table during the first dinner.
However, if I didn’t want to be blackmailed, I would keep my mouth shut and go my own way, spending time only with people who treat me with kindness and respect – neither of which it appears you received on that nightmare cruise.
Dear Abby: I am in high school, and there’s a boy I see for at least an hour every day. About six months ago, I developed feelings for him. However, he has a girlfriend who seems to like him a lot, and the feeling is obviously mutual.
Now, let’s be clear: I am NOT looking to break them up. I see they are very happy together, and I would never try to get in the way of that. I have tried not being around him. I tried switching classes. I just want to know how to move on from him. – Helpless in High School
Dear Helpless: The school year will be over very soon and you may not be exposed to this boy on a daily basis in the fall. In the meantime, stay busy.