Dear Abby | Girl’s maternal grandparents were never told of her birth
Dear Abby: My 7-year-old granddaughter, “Hannah,” is the light of my life. Her mother walked out on her when she was 2, and her mother’s parents don’t know she exists. Her mother hid her pregnancy and delivery, and the child has lived with us since birth.
I could not imagine not knowing Hannah and missing out on her life. I have always wanted to send them pictures or even introduce her to them (they don’t live far from us). My husband says it’s not our place, and we run the risk of them trying to get some kind of custody.
Currently, my son and Hannah’s mother share legal custody, but he has full physical custody. There has been no communication from her mother in at least five years.
Hannah is starting to ask questions about her mother, and we have always been truthful with her. It will not be long before she puts things together and realizes she has another set of grandparents. Should we inform them about their grandchild? – Holding a Secret in the East
Dear Holding: Because your son has full physical custody of Hannah, tell him about your concerns. Because Hannah is now asking questions about her mother, her father should prepare to answer them for her. However well-intentioned you may be, this matter is for your son to deal with, not you.
Dear Abby: I’m a teen girl. “Chloe” and I have been friends since first grade. Even though we went to different high schools and have made other friends, we still remained close, spending summer vacations with each other’s family.
Last summer she told me she’s a lesbian and shared all her feelings with me. I understand her, and we’re still close friends, sharing each other’s secrets.
Three months ago, she met a partner, and I was truly happy for her. Unfortunately, her partner must feel insecure about our friendship because she has turned Chloe against me. Chloe no longer returns my calls or texts.
How can I get over my loss? I can’t understand why we all can’t be friends. I don’t know what to do. – Missing my Bestie in Florida
Dear Missing: You can’t “all be friends” because Chloe’s girlfriend is threatened by the long-standing relationship you have had with her. This has nothing to do with you; it is a reflection of the girl’s insecurity and possessiveness. If things don’t work out with Chloe’s girlfriend, there is a distinct possibility that she will be back in your life.