Dear Abby | Dad’s long disappearances give family cause for alarm
Dear Abby: My father’s behavior has been very peculiar lately. He and Mom have been married for 45 years. Because of my father’s actions, I’m afraid for my mother’s emotional state. He stays gone for long periods of time throughout the day and sometimes stays out until the early morning of the next day. She always stays up until he gets home. When she calls or texts him, at times he doesn’t respond. When I tried talking to him, he said he doesn’t have to explain himself. It’s like he is living another life.
I’m not sure what’s going on between my parents. I just know I don’t like to see Mom treated this way. My relationship with my father is suffering because of this. I asked him to come to family counseling. He refuses. I just don’t know what else we can do. Please help. – Perplexed Daughter:
Dear Daughter: You cannot force your father into family counseling, but you and your siblings can continue to give your mother emotional support. I don’t know what your father is up to, but if it becomes necessary, a private detective can fill you in.
Dear Abby: I am in a loving marriage. Because we have no children, my husband and I are best friends who devote most of our time to each other. My issue is with some of his habits.
He is clumsy, and this has resulted in the destruction of many things in our home – our carpet (spills that can’t be cleaned), coffee table (discolored from spilling a caustic material) and sofa (spilled wax and cigar burns). I know he doesn’t do this intentionally, but it makes me irate. And it is constant.
Is there anything I can do to change this, or must I accept the destruction of my home? And if that’s the case, what can I do to make me less angry about it? – Mrs. Destruction in Baltimore
Dear Mrs. Destruction: A certain amount of wear and tear is normal. But your husband may be one of those people – many people are – who “lives” on the sofa. Much of your problem might be eliminated if you made sure that snacks are consumed in the kitchen and no beverages more colorful than water are enjoyed in front of the TV.