Dear Abby | Time takes a toll on wife’s figure and husband’s interest
Dear Abby: I have been with my husband for 20 years. I’m 43, and he’s 63. Our sex life has died. He is no longer attracted to me, and he has let me know it.
His love is physical, not emotional. I am not the size 4 I was when he met me. As long as my body looks like he wants it to look, he’s into me. If I’m a size 8 or more, he is not at all into me. I have a hard time understanding how he can love me for how I look.
Long story short, my first love has popped back into my life. I have tested the waters with him, and I’m in over my head with the way he makes me feel. I haven’t slept with him yet, but I have done everything but. The chemistry between us is undeniable.
I know I’m betraying my husband, and I don’t want to hurt him. He is aware of this, and I don’t know what to do. Help! – More Than Looks in the South
Dear More: Before this goes any further, make up your mind about what you want and need. If it’s a man who will love you for yourself, not your exterior, then free your husband to find a mate who will be a perpetual size 4. (Has HIS body changed over the last 20 years?)
Whether things work out between you and your first love is anyone’s guess, but if you need the emotional security of sharing your life with someone who values you for more than your looks, the person to whom you are currently married doesn’t qualify.
P.S. Time is on your side. In another 20 years your husband will be in his 80s and still trying to find a size 4 who thinks he is sexually attractive, while you’ll still be in your prime.
Dear Abby: I’m almost sure my wife is cheating on me. On her ladies’ night out she has been getting home later and later. Someone drops her off at the corner and she walks to the house. The last time, I hid behind my Harley in the driveway to see if I could determine who is dropping her off. While crouching behind the bike, I noticed a puddle of oil on the driveway. Should I try to fix it myself or should I take it to the dealer? – Jim in Iowa Falls
Dear Jim: Jeez, that one’s older than the hills! As intelligent as you are, I’m sure you’ll make the right decision. Be careful not to slip on the oil while you’re deciding.
Happy April Fools’ Day to you, your wife and all my readers. And that’s NO joke! – Love, Abby