Dear Abby | Pregnant bride-to-be imposes a nonalcoholic party policy
Dear Abby: My friend “Nan” is planning her wedding and asked if I, along with our friends, would be bridesmaids. Fast-forward a few months: The bride-to-be is now pregnant. We’re having our first get-together as a bridal party, and she wants us to serve only nonalcoholic “mocktails” for our girls’ night in. I asked the maid of honor if we could have the option of alcohol, and she said no because that’s what the bride wants.
Is it rude to drink in front of a pregnant bride? Obviously, I will honor Nan’s wishes, but I’d like a second opinion. Should this no-alcohol policy be in effect for all pre-wedding events (shower, bachelorette party, etc.)? I feel we’re all adults and should be able to make our own choices. It’s not as if we’re going to get wasted at these things. Your thoughts, please? – Perplexed Bridesmaid
Dear Bridesmaid: In most cases, it is not considered rude to consume alcohol in front of someone who is abstaining, although many people choose to refrain, too. In this case, the bride would not have specified that she wanted no alcohol served if she was comfortable with her bridal party drinking when she couldn’t join in. Her wishes should take precedence.
Dear Abby: My husband is disabled and hasn’t worked in nearly 20 years. I have been the sole support of our family all this time.
My issue is, my husband seems to have serious problems with people he perceives as rich. The fact that some people have more money than we do rankles him no end. It has reached the point where the kids and I are really disturbed by his vitriol. In his eyes, no rich person can be a good person, and most of them don’t deserve what they have. What can I do? – Weary of Listening in Maine
Dear Weary: Your husband may be venting his frustration at his inability to work and provide for the family, and misdirecting his anger toward people he perceives as rich. Has he always been this way, or is this recent? If it’s recent, his physician may want to see and evaluate him. If it’s not, then it may be time to point out that money, while it can make the gears of life mesh more smoothly, is no guarantee of happiness, and nobody – regardless of income – has everything. Then tell him to stop.